28 things that happened in 2008

1. Moved in with Trevor and William
2. Fell for a girl when she told me that God had given her a dream about us.
3. Did a lot of Swing Dancing.  
4. Wrote a script for a short film.
5. Was used by God to pull off two HUGE service projects with hundreds of people.
6. Hosted a few parties.
7. Grew really close with my small group.
8. Stayed in touch with people from college.
9. Reconnected with a friend from High School.
10. Voted in the Presidential election.
11. Started Twittering.
12. Said goodbye to William, one of my best roommates yet.
13. Learned to judge by fruit instead of potential.
14. Baptized a few people.
15. Started running.  
16. Gave up on gaining muscle with a high protein diet.
17. Watched Battlestar, How I Met Your Mother, Veronica Mars, Lost.
18. Had a party to celebrate BATMAN!
19. Read a few books.
20. Listened to hundreds of hours of podcasts.
21. Got my heart broken.
22. Learned that being right isn't all that great.
23. Saw how I hurt people.
24. Had a few sexy haircuts.
25. Ate a lot of Whiskey River BBQ Chicken Wraps.
26. Went to a lot of counseling sessions
27. Made on-line contact with people who's work I respect.
28. Wrote in a journal everyday for four months straight.

So This Was Christmas.

Without much fanfare, Christmas 2008 has come and past.

This year I happily listened to Christmas Carols. Did not give or receive much in the way of materials. Read the first few chapters of Luke. Spent a lot of time alone. Did some reading. Did some writing. Was taken in by two families from Church. Watched a few movies. Feel rested and blessed.

The simplicity of this Christmas gives me hope for future Christmases. I have hope that Christmas can be simple. It can just be about food, family and friends. I have hope that movements like the Advent Conspiracy will help Churches focus on the needy during Christmas. I have hope that wherever I am, and whatever my circumstances, God will surround me with people that will help me get through. I have hope that someday, I will do the same for others.

50 Things I'm Thankful For

1. The new Malcolm Gladwell book. Listening to it on my Thanksgiving drive is possibly going to be the highlight of my day.
2. Running. I hate it. But it's good.
3. Journaling. It forces me to think.
4. Movies. I really like movies.
5. My friend Rachel. She let's me talk a lot, and acts interested.
6. My health. Don't you have to say that on a list like this?
7. The values I picked up from my family. Things like: Loving Jesus, the Church and books.
8. My boss Steve. He's really gone to bat for me.
9. My roommates.
10. The Elders at Journey. We eat together a lot.
11. Don McLaughlin. Amazing mentor back in Atlanta who poured a ton into me.
12. Other pre-San Antonio mentors, like Marvin Crowson, Gailyn Van Rheenan, Barry Alexander, Glenn Robb and Lee Cole.
13. This American Life. Ira Glass is a high point every week.
14. Podcasts. Seriously, I don't remember life before them.
15. Twitter. I like following you people!
16. Traditional and non-Traditional theories of Atonement. It's just great to think about everything God's done for us.
17. A new friend who's given me some much needed hope.
18. Counseling. I am a better person today because of it.
19. Journey Fellowship. It's more than a job or a church for me. It's a home.
20. The dozens of writers of the Bible. Their humanity makes it seem real.
21. The Democratic process.
22. Fall weather.
23. Electricity.
24. My friend Daniel. The guy can talk a lot, but he still knows how to listen.
25. James Holston. Better friend now than when we lived in the same city.
26. Comic Books. Mainly Batman.
27. The Dark Knight movie. Amazing.
28. The swing towards social justice in the church.
29. Bad things that have happened to me in the past. I'm better off now.
30. The growing nation-wide interest in church planting.
31. Refrigerators. I'd make a terrible hunter.
32. Indoor plumbing.
33. Cell phones. I plan to make good use of mine during my two 3 hour drives today.
34. Blogs. Though they are dying off, they made me take my writing public.
35. My Community Group. They have been the people I fall back on, every week.
36. Abraham Lincoln.
37. Our big L-shaped couch. It's what makes our living room.
38. Falling gas prices.
39. My Uncle's desire to have, and fund, a big family Thanksgiving.
40. Being born in America. It's makes me one of the richest people in the world.
41. My Church of Christ heritage. Yeah, there's baggage, but I can harmonize like nobody's business.
42. Scented candles. Because a house full of dudes can smell.
43. The deer that live all around our apartment. They make this place seem wild.
44. Jared Eckman. He fixed my car for free.
45. Kevin Nations. He makes cool movies, and will hopefully make more!
46. The guys in Witness and Castle Rock. They were the first real friends I ever had. Wish I was with you today!
47. Being single. Yeah, it sucks most the time. But can you imagine me dragging a wife through the crap I've gone through the last 5 years?
48. Wycliffe, Luther, Calvin, Arminius, Wesley, Campbell, John Paul, and the other great leaders that have paved the road for the church to be what it is today.
49. YOU!
50. Thanksgiving Day.

Trust gets easier

Recently, I have found the reality of trusting in God to be much more palpable. What's different:

• I've been here before. Difficulties, unanswered questions, etc. Somehow I'm still alive.
• I am asking for help. When you don't try to do it on your own, and you lean in to the church, let it do what it's supposed to do, God's body will take care of you.
• Today's difficulties are the answers to yesterday's questions. As hard as the moment may be, I'm ready for some answers.

It's a good feeling, trusting God.

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." Jeremiah 29:11

Haven't been here in awhile

There's a few reasons I haven't been blogging.

1) I have a ton of things going on, which I look forward to talking about in this forum in the future. But not now.
2) I've been distracted by Twitter. You can follow me at twitter.com/chrismorton82
3) I haven't devoted the time to thinking things out. This blog has served primarily as a venue for me to think about stuff. I have been doing too much going, and not enough thinking.

Some things worth writing about:

-Coffee House Night + Art Show, Friday at 7
-The second ever Church Has Left the Building, December 7
-Holidays
-This weekend's retreat
-The Washington bio I read
-The new Malcolm Gladwell book. It's should be a holiday.

CHLB is Back!

CHLB Week 1 from Chris Morton on Vimeo.

Let's be honest.

Let's be honest.

He's the second black President of the United States.

Could we have gotten here without President Palmer?

A Prayer for Election Day (and beyond)

God, make us a people of Grace. Remind us that all leaders are ultimately chosen by you, for grand purposes we are too small to understand. Help us to respect and pray for those to will be given offices. Keep fear and hatred at bay. Let your people be a shining example of the Kingdom of God, no matter who controls the government.

Making sense of the last ten days or so

I am determined to gather life and leadership lessons from the funk I'm stuck in:

I recently held an event meant to give people a place to bring their non-christian friends. It went off well, except that the 30 people I invited were nowhere to be found. Sharing my frustration, many people noted that they wanted to experience the event before inviting their friends. Lesson: Just making the environment is not enough, you must also help people trust and appreciate it.

I've heard ministers refer to people as "extra grace required." I've had to deal with a lot of that recently. My immediate desire is to box them in, so they can cause as little damage as possible. The problem with that strategy is that it leaves no room for grace.

Another event I was a part of did not go too well. Once I got over my initial anger, I went back and apologized to the organizer, a young leader whom I unfairly gave totally responsibility. I realize now that I threw this person out to drown. It reminds me of the first leadership axiom I was ever taught: Don't expect what you don't inspect.

Finally, I was reminded again of the importance of communication. Rather than talk about a problem, I often let it fester deep within me. This keeps me from having meaningful relationships, and turns me into a bitter person. Just talk about it.

What have you learned lately?

My Kingdom is Not of This World.

It's not a secret that I've never leaned right politically. My upbringing, my experiences working among the urban poor and my embarrassment at conservative Christians married to the right wing Republican agenda have driven me away from the teritory held sacred by so many American Christians.

When people bring up the election, my response is two-fold.

First, I am so excited to hear mainstream Christian voices encouraging us to vote our values, not our party. Greg Boyd has called in to question the role of Christians and the state. Jim Wallis and Shane Claibourne have encouraged us to be "political misfits." And Rick Warren's Saddleback Forum proved that Christians want to talk about the issues.

Christians are migrating to a new space, more defined by a broad, Bible inspired agenda, and not limited to one party. It's about time guys, I've been lonely.

Second, I'm afraid that a younger generation of Christians are selling out to Obama the way their parents did to Reagan. I was a little overwhelmed when I saw dozens of my friends change their Facebook name to include "Hussein." Brian McClaren, perhaps the most influential theologian around, blogs regularly about why you should vote for Obama. When Relevant Magazine editor Cameron Strang turned down the opportunity to pray at the DNC, it was picked up by, one of my favorite authors, Donald Miller of Blue Like Jazz. Now Miller is stumping for Obama.

This election fills me with hope for the Churches leaders, but fear for my generation. My prayer is that before you vote, you will consider long and hard the implications of Jesus' statement "My kingdom is not of this world."

Coffee House Night

Tomorrow night is Coffee House Night. It's our humble attempt at JF to create a "Front Porch Environment" or "Throw a Matthew Party."

Here's what I mean. There's a lot of people who need to know Jesus, but you may not be able to convince them to come to your small group or your Church. Visiting Church is a lot like visiting someone's house.

Porches are for friends and strangers. From a porch you can see inside the house, and if you chose, come inside.

In Matthew 9, the newly converted Tax Collector throws a party for all his pagan sinner friends. And he invite Jesus. It's a chance for people to party, get to know each other, and hang out with Jesus.

Find out more about our next Coffee House Night. Listen to this month's performer here.

Wandering Wandering (jewjewjews)

This week in The Story we are reading about the wildnerness wanderings of the Israelites. I get the whole feeling of being lost in the desert. I also know that those are the times I'm most like the Israelites- mean and ungrateful. Here, in no particular order, are the top "desert wandering" seasons of my life:

• High School. All of it. Especially sophomore year.
• The night before fifth grade started.
• The next 6-12 months after I've been dumped.
• The semester I went back to college in rural Arkansas, after spending the summer with homeless street kids.
• Austin.
• My senior year of college, from the day I changed my major to the day I left for Atlanta.
  

The crazy thing is, I look back and see these as the most important times in my life. The times when God has seemed closest, and furthest. Looking back, I see that I was waist-deep in manna and quail the whole time.


Hopefully, I'll remember this the next time I'm stranded in the desert.

Brain Dump

I'm going to take a Brain Dump.

This is an idea I took with me from Getting Things Done. I have to admit that I didn't finish the book, and I still have a lot of trouble getting things done, but I loved the Brain Dump concept.

The Big Idea is that your brain is terrible at storing stuff. You have all these things you want to do, that are floating in the back of your head, making you uneasy, but you don't always know what they are. So, on a regular basis, you should take a brain dump.

Write down EVERYTHING, I mean everything that is on your mind. Your to do lists. Your life goals. Those hard conversations you've been putting off. The movie you always wanted to see. The girl you have considered asking out.

Before you can get anything done, you need to dump everything out of your head.

Twitter: Seth Godin convinced me.

I'm finally giving Twitter a try. I have to admit, I've been skeptical. The thought of following people in that detail makes reading a blog about someone's breakfast seem exciting.

Recently, someone asked me if I thought we were better or worse off with Social Networking. My answer is that Social Networking is neither good nor bad. But it is an expression of our times.

I believe that many of the unique social aspects of our culture, everything from Starbucks to Gangs can trace their lineage to the breakdown of traditional families and communities. Out in the suburbs, we're starved for meaningful relationships. Social Networking technology helps fill that gap.

In Seth Godin's new book, Tribes, ($.95 on iTunes) he talks a lot about Facebook, Twitter and other networks. He told the story of a guy at South By Southwest who found an empty bar and sent out a twitter to a few friends. In less than an hour, there was a line out the door.

Social Networking is here. Twitter is here. I guess I'll embrace it.
Follow me at twitter.com/chrismorton82.

There's Hope Yet

At Journey Fellowship, we're really enjoying going thru The Story. While studying the story of Joseph, I had one of those "aha!" moments, where you see something new in a story you've read a million times.

When Joseph is propositioned by his Boss's wife, he tells her "my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?"

The exchange strikes me as eerily similar to the one Eve had with the Serpent. She could have anything she wanted, except the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, just like Joseph could have anything he wanted, except his boss's wife.

A professor of mine often said "Adam and Eve is not just the story of what happened, it's the story of what happens." We all face temptation like Eve did. But when it came Joseph's turn, he ran from it.

There's hope yet.

How do you describe your faith?

A lot of Churches are striving to be relevant. Hip theologians call this being "missional," while the more academic types use the word "incarnational." (Yes, I know this a gross simplification.) But how you describe what you believe and do is key to being meaningful to those around you. One church planter says their core values are being "God Stalkers, Grace Wholesalers and Guerilla Lovers." (Find out what that means here.)

How do you describe your faith?

Worst goal ever.

Since I have experienced some level of success in my goal of journaling daily (about 99.9% of the time for the last 6 weeks,) I have started a new goal:

BECOME A MORNING PERSON.

Now, mind you, I believe that this is quite possibly the WORST GOAL EVER. Why?

1. I have always stayed up. Even when I was a little kid, I'd stay up late reading books, or writing or playing on the computer. This goes back as long as I can remember.
2. I like night. It's dark. It's peaceful. Crazy stuff can happen.
3. It's hard to be social when you are trying to go to bed at 10pm.

So, why set the worst goal ever? One reason is that staying up doesn't tend to do me any good. I'm not having more fun or being more social. In fact, I tend to just watch a lot of TV and get depressed because I am tired and everyone on TV has pretty girlfriends. Why stay up late and think about that? Another reason is that I know very few successful people, in any field, who are not morning people. The most important reason is spiritual. I am much more likely to have a consistent time set aside for God if I start my day with it.

Day 1 I woke up at 5:30. Day 2...6:15. So, let's hope its not a trend.

Want to become an early riser? Here's some tips.

Audiobooks

One only has to look at my iPod to see what a nerd I am. I have almost no music on there. Not because I don't like music, but because I haven't had much a music budget since High School, and I'm kind of tired of listening to those CDs.

You will find over a dozen podcasts and audiobooks. Podcasts consist of mainly sermons, from a wide variety of evangelical, liberal and emergent churches. I also have my two favorite NPR shows, This American Life and Radiolab. Listening to those two is definitely a high point in my week.

The other thing you'll find on my iPod is audiobooks. I love audiobooks. I try to read a lot, but my ADD makes it a lot of work. In the last month I've gone through Phillip Yancey's What's So Amazing About Grace, a brutal scifi/noir read called Altered Carbon, and a business book The Art of Woo. I'm currently working through Jim Collin's business classic Good to Great, and Phillip K. Dick's A Scanner Darkly. In my stack is David Sedaris' Naked, and a biography of George Washington. I don't know what I'd do without audible.com.

Journaling

At the beginning of September, I made a commitment to journal everyday for the rest of the year. It's probably hurt my blogging, but it's been a good experience.

Do you keep a journal, if so, what do you write about?

What are you doing this week?

Monday
Mondays are my new day off. It's an awkward transition, but I think it may actually help me get more organized. By day off, I mean, the day to pay bills, send important emails and run errands. Also having lunch with a local entrepeneur and dinner with a friend from our Apartment Life ministry.

Tuesday
Staff meeting and the new Journey Fellowship College Group.

Wednesday
My Dodgeball league starts Wednesday night. I have no idea what to expect.

Thursday
All staff retreat. I think we'll be wrapping our heads around some big theology. Community Group.

Friday
Still getting used to working on Friday. No plans that night. Any ideas?

Too much like Ted

My roommate Trevor introduced me to the sitcom How I Met Your Mother last week. I watched the entire first season in three sittings. I like the show for a lot of reasons, like the fast paced humor, the lack of respect chronology, and the ridiculous character Barney. It's very similar to Scrubs in its portrayal of young, urban 20somethings, only more accessible (since I'm not a doctor.)

But the reason I get so drawn into this show is how much I identify with the main character Ted. Here are a few things I can relate to:

1. He falls too fast. The whole first season is about his relationship with Robin, which he screwed up by telling her he loved her on their first date.


2. His tendency to overthink things keeps him from acting.


3. His relationships with his closest friends are sometimes peers, and sometimes surrogate parents.


4. He has an amazing two month relationship with Victoria the Cupcake Girl, who leaves him for Europe.


5. His walls are covered with posters of ska bands and he almost dumped a girl who didn't like Star Wars.


6. Ted is looking to settle down, but can't seem to find any girls who want to.


7. Ted knows exactly what he wants (likes Otis Redding, plays bass guitar, loves dogs), and judges everyone he sees on that.

Yeah...feel a little too much like Ted.

Take a (smaller) step

I recently read a book that devoted a chapter to how to move forward on a goal. We often set BHAGs (Big Hairy Audacious Goals), and are so sure they are not doable that we never do anything. The key is to break it down. For instance, let say my goal is to have food in my fridge. I could say "Well, my fridge is empty. This is totally undoable." Or I could list the steps.

1. Make a grocery list.
2. Go to the Grocery store.
3. Eat dinner.

Even that seems like a lot. But, what if we broke it down even more. Let's make ever 1 step into 5.

1. Find pencil.
2. Find paper.
3. Look in fridge to find out what's missing.
4. Sit down with pencil and paper.
5. Make a grocery list.
6. Find my keys.
7. Find my wallet.
8. Walk to my car.
9. Drive to the grocery store.
10. Walk inside the grocery store.
11. Find each item on the list.
12. Walk row by row through the store, looking for items missed.
13. Check out.
14. Drive home.
15. Cook dinner.

The idea is, having dinner tonight may be overwhelming, but, if broken down to small enough sizes, steps can be taken.

What is on your list of BHAGs?

On the Fringes

One of my favorite memories of being a kid is a Friday night in the early 90s where I happened upon a scary TV show where two FBI agents were tracking a serial killer who was a supernatural contortionist. It was one of the very first episodes of X-Files. That, along with the unrecognized classic retake of The Outer Limits made up many of my Friday nights.

So I was very excited to hear that the modern television master of supernatural suspense, J.J. Abrams, was behind a new show that mixes Rod Serling's Twilight Zone and The X-Files. Ever since shining the spotlight on Keri Russell's gorgeous curls in Felicity, Abrams has garnered cult followings with character driven serial dramas. He has even dabbled in movies, making best non-british superspy movie, Mission Impossible: III and gives us high hopes for the college age portrait of Captain Kirk in his upcoming Star Trek installment. His masterwork, Lost, continues to weave an intricate storyline whose complexity is only second to that of the characters themselves.

But after two episodes of Fringe the jury is still out. The story revolves around FBI Agent Olivia Dunham, whose boyfriend contracts a mysterious disease. Dunham goes to extreme lengths to help him, enlisting bad boy genius Peter Bishop (Dawson's Creek's Joshua Jackson) and his mad scientist father Walter Bishop (John Noble) to find a cure. The twist comes when we find out that the boyfriend was actually a traitor, trying to unleash the disease. A car wreck leaves him dying in Dunham's arms, but not before he can insinuate that Dunham is actually a pawn in a bigger scheme. Subsequent episodes have introduced The Pattern, a series strange incidents happening around the world. Someone is doing an experiment; only they are using the entire world an innocent human lives, as their lab.

Abrams succeeds in placing Fringe in our modern setting. Dunham is recruited for Homeland Security, a tip of the hat to the fears of pandemic disease and religious warfare that haunt our globalized post-911 world. Unfortunately, a mysterious overarching plot is not enough to make up for the two-dimensional the angst-ridden characters of Dunham and Bishop. The X-Files revolved around the chemistry of Mulder, who wanted to believe in everything that goes bump in the night, and the sexy archskeptic Scully, a doctor who questioned everything. Abrams is the master of creating fascinating characters, from the adorable Felicity, to the entire cast of Lost, whose first three seasons gave each character multiple episodes to tell their backstory. Fringe feels like retracing old steps. Only this time, it's not as fun.

That doesn't mean I'm going to stop watching. Despite the rehash, Abrams is tapping into a powerful zeitgeist. Fringe is based on the fear that eventually science will progress to the point it is out of our control. This belies a greater fear, that their are forces beyond our control, things we cannot see.

For Christians, this is the basis of all our beliefs. However, the modern worldview, shaped by the scientific achievements of the enlightenment, tried to make accepting anything that cannot be reproduced in a lab seem childish.
Angels, demons, miracles, and even God were pushed out of the picture, only leaving room for what we could quantify and explain. Fringe represents a change in the discussion of our culture. This same science causes us to live in fear of nuclear warfare and global warming, and has yet to produce a cure for cancer. Science has failed us, and we are starting to look beyond ourselves for help.

As Christians, Fringe represents a discussion that the church should be having with the world. Our answer is, yes, there is more out there. But you don't have to fear it. His name is Jesus Christ, he loves you, and he gave his life for you.

The Story is Here!

Yesterday, at Journey Fellowship we kicked off The Story. The Story is a massive effort to unite thousands of people at three campuses in dozens of ministries and hundreds of small groups. What will unite us? A study of the story of God's Word, from beginning to end.

Our tool in this will be The Story, an abridged version of the TNIV text, broken into 30 chronological chapters. Each week we'll read a chapter, study it in our groups, and look at it again on Sunday mornings. We'll do this for the rest of the school year.

If you want to follow along with us, check out www.thestorynow.net.

Currently Reading:

I'm always working through 3-5 books at a time. Right now they are:

True North by Bill George. George is a professor at Harvard business school, and former CEO of Medtronic. This follow up to his book Authentic Leadership is a collection of stories from over 100 modern day leaders in a variety of fields.

Simply Christian by Tom Wright. The Reverend Wright is possibly the most widely appreciated living theologian, his writings range from popular level work, including his fantastic New Testament for Everyone commentaries, to academic textbooks. This is his attempt to provide a 21st Century Mere Christianity.

Watchmen by Alan Moore. I've been picking away at the greatest Graphic Novel of all time for quite some time. I'm about half way through, and still not sure what it's about or why it is such a big deal--but I love it. The impending movie has inspired me to finish it.

Some Questions

• Considering floating down the river on Monday...interested?
• If someone pointed out my flaws the way I want to point out their's, what would they say?
• Do I have the courage to try something different?
• What's it going to be like kayaking down the Rio Coco?
• Does everyone have trouble moving on, and we all just hide it?
• How do you tell if your anger is reasonable or unreasonable?
• Robert Downey, Jr. in black face?
• What does it take to become a professional movie critic?
• How many hotdog buns should I buy for the back to school bash?
• When I look back at this part of my life, what will I regret?
• What is the difference between those who make the best of their situation and those who wallow?
• If Obama looses, what will he do next?
• What should I change to make more time for reading?
• Should I buy an iPhone?
• Surely there's a good party somewhere this weekend?
• What will I have to give up to pay my debt off by the end of the year?
• Why don't I pray more?
• Why do I spend so much time online?

What well are you drinking out of?

The other day I had a conversation with a person who started to quote a well-known "prosperity preacher." Over the last few years, teachings that God wants you health, wealthy and prosperous have been sweeping through the American church. The best known modern preacher accused of this probably Joel Olsteen, pastor of America's largest church.

This isn't a post against Olsteen and friends. I am not 100% against what they have to say. I do believe God wants to bless us, I'm just not convinced it's going to be in a material way that we can easily label.

Anyway, I was caught off guard when I heard this individual "amening" something that, to me, smelled like a few more hours of sitting outside the fridge could rot into heresy. I tried to balance their argument by reminding them that, while God wants to bless us, he also wants us to pick up our cross.

I was thinking about explaining to this person why their new favorite preacher was a dangerous well to be drinking from, when I started to think about what wells I drink from on a regular basis. I listen to about half a dozen sermons every week, not as many as I did when I had a working iPod (any readers who want to donate, just send me a quick email.) They range from pop-postmoderns like Rob Bell, to neo-Calvinist in your face types like Mark Driscoll. Of course I have to have my weekly dose of pragmatism from Andy Stanley, and I mix it up with some of the justice-heavy open-theism of Greg Boyd.

Now, there are some things from each of these that I love, but I disagree with each of them on a number of theology points. The scary thing is, I spend so much time with them -listening can be a very intimate activity- that their words have found root in my thoughts. I hear their opinions coming out when I teach formally or when I'm just hanging out with friends.

This isn't a bad thing: I've learned a ton from these guys. But you have to be careful of what you drink. A diet of soda pop will just give you fat. Fruit juice can deliver vitamins, but is packed with sugar, too. These are okay if you digest them in moderation and exercise regularly. If not, it's pretty unhealthy. Likewise, it's good to listen to these teachers, when it's balanced out, theologically, stylistically, and most importantly, is a far second to your person time with God and his Word.

My reactions to "you're not being nice."

I've been overwhelmed by the reactions the Facebook version of my post "you're not being nice" has gotten. My response is as follows. First, on a personal note:

• It always blows me away that I put a lot of effort into posts about life, culture, and spirituality, and I get little or no feedback. One little post about girls and you all respond. I guess that says a lot about what's on my readers' mind.
• I am not heartbroken, upset, or desperate. I do not loose sleep because I haven't found the one. I just was sharing some thoughts that came to me after a day of waiting for a phone call. But thank you for your sympathy.

Now, in response to you, my faithful readers. Go back and read your responses, and see what they reveal about you. While there is a good amount of give and take, there are clearly some readers (some of whose responses have been deleted) who may have personal issues that make it more difficult to have meaningful relationships.

Let me share a few of my humble opinions on life. I'm not there yet, but here's some things that have helped me along the way.

1. You can't fix someone else, but you can work on yourself. The way I have handled this is surrounding myself with Christian mentors. I've also been in counseling for over 2 years, and it's one of the best decisions I ever made. Do whatever you can to surround yourself with people who have a broader vision, and will help you through life.
2. If you're a girl who doesn't give your number out, or doesn't return phone calls when you do, that's fine- just don't complain when you don't get asked out.
3. If you're a guy who's mad that he can't get a date- you are not trying. I know better than anyone that San Antonio is a terrible place to be a single 20something, I can STILL name half a dozen pretty girls in any age bracket waiting to be asked out. It's a numbers game. Just keep looking and asking.
4. Guys: Be prepared to be rejected. Regroup. Try again. Don't stop.
5. Girls: Take note from Hil, and be honest. I would have boundless respect for any girl who said "you've made my day, but i can't go out with you."

Finally: Trust God AND take initiative. Yeah, God will feed the sparrows, but he doesn't show up at their nest with a spoon and a can of Gerbers. It doesn't mean he's up in heaven playing relational chess with you and your future spouse. God is not your slave. You work for him, not vice versa. So go to work.

Go out. Flirt. Get phone numbers. Give phone numbers. Have a good time. And do it all in a way that will make God and your future spouse proud.

My Schedule for the Week

Monday: Counseling, Office Time: Goals" discussion, Work out, Swing Dancing, Meet with team about possible Art Show at JF
Tuesday: Office Time, Sleep as long as I can, staff meeting, journal, read more of "True North" and "Simply Christian"
Wednesday: Office Time, Work out, Visit another church, perhaps Tree of Life in New Braunfels
Thursday: Office Time, Community Group (Gluten Free Pizza Night!)
Friday: Try to stay out of the office, Maybe use my free movie ticket to see Dark Knight again, work out
Saturday: Feed Homeless with Bread of Life ministries

Not scheduled: Lunch meeting about Northeast San Antonio Needs Assessment, Prayer walk at Northeast Lakeview College, call home, call Kyle, go running with a personal trainer, get a new drivers license

Not scheduled but likely: watch a few hours of some new show with Trevor, write in Journal
Not scheduled, not likely, but hopefully: Buy a girl coffee, buy a new hat

I own it.

Warning: I will use the c%#p word 8 times in this post. Warn your children not to read this.

It was about a year and a half ago that I started throwing around the axiom "own your crap." Recently, I've been reminded of how important this is.

The fact is, we've all got crap. I have got the feeling I have more than most, but less than some. It tells people where to go, what to do. It convinces them to make the same disasterous decisions, again and again. It holds them back from taking chances. It forces them to stay in bad relationships, and sabotage good ones. Most people are owned by their crap.

Owning your crap is the difference between those who are self aware, spiritually mature, relationally mature, self confident, graceful, faithful, humble and gentle from the rest of us. Knowing what your crap is, where it comes from, how it affects you, and how to counteract it is what allows them to sleep at night.

Owning your crap is not the same as having resolved your issues and having gotten rid of your baggage. But it is a step that gives incredible freedom.

I did something the other day that I am pretty sure was a bad idea. I chose to do it, knowing it was probably a bad idea, but also because it's my crap. I gave myself the permission to feel a certain way, say certain things and prepare for the consequences, because my crap isn't going to go away. But I can own it.

Goodbye and Happy Birthday

Thursday night we celebrated my roommate Trevor's 30th birthday and my roommate William's last night in San Antonio. We ate Trevor's traditional birthday meal, had an abbreviated Bible study, ate cake, and opened presents.

The night was full or what this little community is known for: relaxed evenings full of stories of and goofy jokes. Trevor retold the one about the buffet, while William put fake teeth in his mouth and talked like a hillbilly. There were new friends and old, and too many laughs to get nostaligic.

I can't really speak for Trevor, and I can't really imagine what it feels like to hit 30. Probably just another big day that, when it comes, you struggle to find what it is you're really supposed to "feel." So Trevor, here's to another 30.

On Friday we'll pack William up and send him off. I'm really happy for the guy. It's clear he left his heart in Midland. Although he's been a great friend to us, and meant a lot to our church, it's been a tough year for him.

It's not just his portion of the rent I will miss. I'll miss the trips downtown to cool new restaurants, and retelling the same stories about cake and other things. I'll miss his advice, which has helped me more than he knows. More than anything, I'll miss the sounding board he's been; helping me process the difficulties of ministry, a break up, and finding my own place in this city.

Thanks guys.

You're not being nice.

This post is dedicated to the three girls I met this summer, who gave me their phone numbers, and never answered when I called. Now, I realize this is an age old problem that I will not solve in a blogpost. Changing social behavior will take something on the level of sharia law- a power I have yet to obtain. Sometimes you just gotta vent.

Believe it or not ladies, you are not being nice. If a guy is flirting with you, and you're not interested, don't make him think otherwise. Don't give him your number if you're not planning on returning his call.

I realize that these things happen because you are trying to be nice. A lot of problems happen when we try to be nice. But a lot of what is called "being nice" is actually passive agressivity, a way of getting the upper hand.

Here's what you don't understand: it takes the average guy a lot of courage to approach a girl, and even more to try to get her number or ask her out. That courage doesn't come in endless supply. The next girl he meets, he'll drawing from a more shallow well. It gets harder and harder.

I'll always remember listening in on speaker phone to a friend in college as he asked a girl to join him for a cookout on a Sunday. Being a good Christian girl, her response was, "But Sunday's the Lord's Day!"

Now, honestly ladies, I know that when you give us your number (even when you don't want to) or you make an excuse (blaming it on God instead of saying "I won't go out with you) you think you are helping. But the fact is you are just making it harder. On everybody.

ADDENDUM
Since this post was originally written, the number has dropped from 3 to 2. The author would like to thank the young lady for doing her part to restore his faith in the opposite sex.

Don't Judge Me.

Don't judge me, but there are parts of the Bible that I just don't understand why they are there. Some, like about a third of the Torah, on the surface, are outdated and useless. Much of Ezekiel seems like an ancient Israelite's bad trip. Paul keeps saying the same thing in his letters. But these are trivial in comparison to Judges.

I just finished reading Judges, and to be completely honest with you, the book bothers me. I don't know how it fits in to my theology, or what it tells me about God. I know that parts of the Bible are prescriptive and parts are descriptive, but that doesn't explain away the bloody last few chapters of the book. Homosexual propositioning, rape, and murder leads to a civil war. Tens of thosands die in just a few days, and one of the twelve tribes is almost wiped from history.

Here's what I do understand:

Judges is not the whole story. There's an undeniable push-from the garden forward, to Jesus. And Jesus, who teaches love, revives prophetic traditions of social justice, and gives himself as a sacrifice for the world- that I get. So I take comfort in knowing that Judges is just one sad, dark chapter in the story.

What do you do with parts of the Bible you don't understand?

Partial Fast

I attempted a partial fast last week, Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego style. One week without meat. I broke the fast on Friday with a cookout and LOTS of burgers.

I have to say, I'm not really sure how to "grade" a partial fast and what to expect. It definitely was not the jarring experience that a normal fast is. I did miss my meat, especially when eating out. I tried to take advantage of those yearnings as a reminder to pray.

All in all, I'm not sure I of what, if anything, I got from the fast (or if that is even a fair question.) I guess it does serve as a solid reminder of the fact that I have a lot to learn about the spiritual disciplines.

Okkervil River

Here's an article and a podcast about the boys from Austin who convinced me that folk-punk is a true and noble genre.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93699214&ps=bb1

"Devos"

There are some things that have changed about my life, and especially the way I "do church" over the last few years. But I'm blown away by how the simple, core things, remain the same.

On Friday night, I had a group of people over. We ate hamburgers, then we sat around and sang songs to God. This is the kind of thing we always did in the churches I grew up in. We called them "devos." Some of my best memories are of sitting around with my friends in someone's house, and my friends could sing, and we'd sing for what seemed like forever. Then we'd eat. Girls bring snacks, boys bring drinks.

I don't know when I stopped doing devos. Maybe we think that after high school or college we are too grown up for that kind of thing.But Friday night reminded me that true community can happen in the simplest things. Sitting around, singing songs, reading scripture, digesting what we've just feasted on, praying for one another.

How could you ever outgrow that?

Good Burgers

I made burgers for my friends tonight. It's one of my favorite things to do in the whole world. I decided to try a new recipe. The problem was I didn't really have a recipe. So I just grabbed random stuff, such as:

-Egg
-Bread Crumbs
-Dill Seed
-Worcestershire Sauce
-Brown Sugar
-Lawry's seasoning salt
-Crushed red pepper
-Minced Garlic
-Minced Onion

Perhaps my best burgers ever?

You Asked For It.

How do you worship?

Tonight I had a chance to participate in a Taize worship gathering. Taize originated in a monestary in France, and consists of a combination of short melodic chants, scripture reading and extended periods of silence. I always look appreciate Taize worship. I pack my life pretty full, and my hyperactive mind and body find quiet and contemplation unnatural. I need all the help I can get.

These days I spend my Sundays worshipping with a rock band. We hang out in a dark room with couches and candles. We turn it up loud, stand up and raise our hands.

Both are a far cry from the strict a cappella (hands at your sides! don't clap!) tradition I was a part of. However, I find myself singing the old country-style hymns almost every day.

I think it is important to experience different types of worship on a regular basis. Different traditions emphasize the heart, soul, mind and body in different ways. Every time I worship God in a new way, I learn something about him, and how he has created me.

Virtual suburbs.

This has become my life.

Something besides a movie review...

What does it say about my life when the most common thing I think to post is my thoughts on a whatever the last movie I saw was.

Instead of discussing how much I enjoyed the X-Files trip down memory lane, let's talk about a book. I just finished Devil in the White City. Eric Larson's history and biography of the 1893 Chicago World's Fair. Larson follows the characters that made the fair happen, as well as the chilling story of a serial killer who thrived on the chaos created by it.

It's strong characters and short chapters help make Larson's work read a little more like a novel than a textbook. He even incorporates quotations in a manner which mimics diologue. Getting into the book is difficult . The first half is bogged down with biographical details of the architects. However, as you enter the second half of the book, the fair at last becomes a reality, as does the depths of evil found in the antagonist. The book's final act follows a detective criss-crossing the country, desperately seeking to rescue the last few victims. I couldn't turn the pages fast enough.

Sadly, I must admit that I have avoided much serious reading, especially history, since college. I tend to spend my reading times staying abreast on theology and finding haven in cheap science fiction. The Devil in the White, therefore, was the perfect foray into serious reading. I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys history or thrillers.

New Mexico and More.

As my avid readers know, I left for Red River, NM on Sunday, July 27. Daniel Clark and I made the 13 hour drive up through west Texas and headed north to the Rocky Mountains. We arrived at the Clark family "Bear Cave" where and prepared for our week. We spent Monday shopping and cooking.

Tuesday was the big day. We woke up at 4am and headed out for Wheeler Peak before sunrise. By 10am we reached the roof of New Mexico, at 13,161 feet. Our total trip took about 7 hours.

The rest of the week was spent lazing around, watching movies like Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, and Casino Royale. I took my first ever trip via 4 wheeler down Fourth of July Canyon.

After a day of rest, we spent the remainder of our week taking short hikes around the town. We headed out Friday morning for DFW, where Daniel's parents took us out on the boat and I had dinner with Perry and Amy Bolton.

I finally made it back to SA at 2:30 in the morning to this gift from my roommates on my bedroom wall..

Off to New Mexico

I'm taking a week off and hiding in Red River New Mexico. I've never been, but I hear it looks something like this:

I'm planning on not answering my phone, email or facebook, and only writing in a paper journal.

See ya in a week!

A lot of Batman

I've watched a lot of Batman in the last 24 hours. It began with Batman: Gotham Knight, a series of interlocking animated shorts that take place in between Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, a la The Animatrix.

The cartoon are fun, and delve into some things the movie doesn't have time to. You get to see what has happened to Arkham Asylum and The Scarecrow, meet a few of the cops featured in the new film, and even get introduced to some larger than life characters that wouldn't do well in a live action film.

I went from there the 1943 movie serial Batman.

This Saturday matinee travesty features Batman and Robin as government agents who fight against a mob led by a "shifty eyed jap." With on screen racism that must have provided the inspiration for Mickey Rooney's character in Breakfast at Tiffany's and fight sequences that make Adam West look like a ninja, it's too bad this film ever had to surface.

Finally, the day culminated watching Batman Begins with friends, and experiencing all that is The Dark Knight in the theatre.

That might seem like a lot of Batman to you, but I'm already planning my next Batman Party. This one will take a week, and will incorporate 1966's Batman: The Movie, Tim Burton's masterpiece, and of course, my childhood favorite, Batman: The Animated Series.

You're invited.

Leaving and entering the building

I haven't blogged much this past week due to the huge events at Journey Fellowship.

Sunday morning began with a special event called "The Church Has Left the Building." Hundreds of Journeyers participated in service projects and servant evangelism projects throughout the Northeast corner of San Antonio. Armed with squeegees, trash bags, toilet brushes and some pretty sweet t-shirts, we were able to show God's love in a practical way throughout our community. Two huge parks were cleaned up, a local non-profit was given a facelift, dozens of cars got cheap gas and clean windshields, cars were washed, toilets were cleaned, and thirsty people were given water.

On Sunday evening, about 800 people arrived at Journey Fellowship to celebrate. First, we celebrated a new facility God has given us. The Blue Bonnet Dance Hall, after 3 decades country music stars, rodeos and beer, has now been transformed into Journey's new worship space. Soft earth tones, couches, rustic crosses and dozens of candles, create a comfortable yet worshipful environment for long time Christians and people who don't like church.

After celebrating our new facility, we also comissioned our new Senior Minister Randy Frazee. Randy, who wrote a book called "The Connecting Church," has been a teacher at Willow Creek for the past few years. He'll take the helm for all of the Oak Hills Church while Max Lucado will continue to write and preach for many months out of the year. The evening ended with Randy leading us through the story of Gideon, and encouraging us to take on great challenges. "When they say no way, we say Yahweh!"

Preparing for all of this over the past few weeks has been quite a task. I am rellishing a much needed day off today. Then tomorrow, it's back to the hard work. Being in people's lives, helping them follow Jesus, and calling out to those who don't him.

Why They Hate Us

I made the choice to watch the firework display at a local Air Force Base here in San Antonio. Beyond the tired "Proud to Be an American," and the classic John Phillps Suza, the most popular song, heard twice in the course of the overly long demonstration, was Toby Keith's "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue."

Now, I am glad to live in America. I'd take our constitution and our 200 year tradition of peaceful exchange of power over what's going on in say, Zimbabwe right now, any day. Thankfulness is one thing. Pride may even have it's place. But I don't have to wonder why Europe hates us and radical Muslims want to wipe us out when I hear the lyrics:

Ohhh Justice will be served
And the battle will rage
This big dog will fight
When you rattle his cage
And you'll be sorry that you messed with The U.S. of A.
'Cause we'll put a boot in your ass
It's the American way

I would hate us too.

Fun with Rehash

I've spent a lot of time complaining about the lack of cultural opportunities in San Antonio. That's why I tried REALLY HARD to go see tonight's screening of Oscar Nominated Shorts. I got there to find out it had sold out this afternoon. Apparently, there are a lot of old people in San Antonio that also listen to NPR, who, unlike me, plan ahead of time.

So, instead of Peter and the Wolf, I ended up watching yet another summer action blockbuster, the wonderful rehash Wanted. Take three parts Matrix, one part Star Wars, and throw in a little Spider-Man for flavor, and you get Wanted. This "young boy discovers he has super powers" action drama is driven by special effects that make the Wachowski Brothers wish they could be dead and spinning in their graves.

The high point of the film is Angelina, who continues to suffer from being too pretty to be recognized as the actress she could be. I've gone out of my way to avoid her past action flicks, but as a supporting character, she adds a kind of classiness the film that Trinity could never pull off.

My favorite moment of the movie is the climax of the monologue, ripped almost directly from the first Spiderman movie. However, unlike the self importance that even the webslinger can't avoid, this monologue makes it clear that Wanted just meant to be fun.

And that it is.

Goin' Out

I'm going out tonight.

I've heard it said that leadership is simply influence.

If it's true that the difference between sin and evangelism is influence.

I believe that the only way we can reach those who don't know Christ is to engage them on their terms and, most of the time, on their turf. This being true, how do you be involved without being influenced? Lead without looking down? Buy in without selling out?

The New Normal

I've begun refering to a number of things I encounter as "The New Normal." Whether I like them or not, whether they fit my morals or my ideas of how things should be, there are more and more things in this world that I just have to accept as part of everyday life.

The new normal:

-More and more kids graduate high school only to stay at home for years to come. For me this is unimaginable. Getting out on my own was a key part of figuring out who I am and how I will serve God with my life. But for the average teenager, life doesn't really change at 18, or 20, or 24.
-The average age of marriage is now 26. The necessity of an undergraduate degree as well as access to jobs, not to mention, contraceptives, have pushed off our need for marriage. That means we have 10-15 years of sexual potency that is not being released within marriage. That's a long time to wait.
-Internet Dating. I'll admit it. I gave it a try. Wasn't all bad. It still has an air of desperation, but it's increasingly accepted.
-Choosing Churches based on their stance on homosexuality. New Barna research shows how changes in attitudes are shaping peoples view on the church. Although it's been something that the mainline churches have wrestled with, this will push it into serious conversation in the Evangelical realm.
-Co-Habitation. Part of the reason the average age of marriage is so high is because of the acceptance of cohabitation. Meeting a married young couple outside of church is pretty rare for me these days. Many of the girls I meet, even at church, have lived with a guy for a period of time. I realize God is a God of grace, but I sometimes feel a little disappointed when I look at my options.
-Bike Riding. Two of my co-workers bike to the office 3-4 times a week due to $4 gas. I live across the street. So I haven't gotten that far yet.
-Christian Democrats. I really was hoping that my generation would shed their predecessor's love for aligning with a political party and we would have more of what Shane Claibourne calls "political misfits." Unfortunately, rockstar Barack Obama seems to be drawing them in. Not ready to call him the new Falwell, but we'll see.

Wonkavision

We had a good time tonight at the Journey Fellowship Drive In Movie. Willy Wonka is a singularly unique movie. I don't really know anything else like it. In some ways it's a morality play. It's a musical with some of the most memorable melodies. It's incredibly sentimental, yet somehow never becomes cheesy.

Maybe the key is Gene Wilder's genius presentation of Wonka, which is as crazy as his Frankenstein, yet simultaneously much more scary and lovable. On his own he would seem obsessive and spiteful. But surrounded by the likes of Veronica Salt, he's positively a humanitarian.

The structure of the movie is also fascinating. The introduction takes about 45 minutes, and Wilder doesn't appear in person till the second half of the movie. Once he does, things moves so fast, and you don't know the way the river's flowing.

Life should be more like Willy Wonka, sentimental, unpredictable, scary, and loving.

Silohuette

Art is God's silohuette.

Artists are constantly seeking after a way of expressing something just out of our reach. Paintings, sculptures, songs and stories are show glimpses of what we know is there, but just can't nail down. Art can express hope or hatred, faith or doubt. Art revisits the same themes century after century.

What are is trying to do is understand the transcendant.

I occassionally will hear a song that is prophetic, or see a relationship in a movie that expresses a love more profound than many of us experience in our own life. Sometimes I will hear Christians say "Is that about God?"

This shouldn't suprise us. Our art shows our longing for the transcendant. Christians believe that God is the truly transcendant. Art can be a beautiful silohuettes, hinting at the shape of our God.

Missed it by that much.

I remember Get Smart from the days when my parents wouldn't buy us Cable, and we could only catch it on free preview weekends. Nick at Nite was amazing when it was a delicacy.

I have low expectations when it comes to rehash, and I generally try to avoid it. So I was pleasantly surprised by the update of Mel Brook's classic spy spoof. Carrell is wise to not try to channel Don Adams, and his funniest moments are so deadpan and awkward that it seems more like the big screen version of The Office. Ann Hathaway is skinny, which is nice, but adds little else to the film.

Altogether, a pleasant way to spend the weekend, but don't be sad if you have to wait for a free preview cable weekend to see it.

Burgers build community

I live in an apartment complex that is lucky enough to have a Cares Team. A few times a month, they put on social events like tonight's cookout and pool party. It's a win-win for everyone. The apartment complex can cut down on turnover by creating community, and Christians have a practical way to impact their neighbors. About 80-100 people came and went. I floated around doing my social butterfly thing.

It takes awhile, building community. It's hard, and for the most part, people would rather marinate in their loneliness than go out on a limb and make a new friend. But when it happens, and you share in the lives of those in your proximity, it changes how you live. When you know the names and faces of the person next door, you begin to know what Jesus meant when he taught us to love our neighbor.

Salt and Light

You can hear my sermon from yesterday on Jesus' call for us to be salt and light here and on iTunes (search "Journey Fellowship"). Also, read my post here and leave a comment about what it would look like to be salt and light in your world.

Good things happening

Today is a good day.

Got to do stuff I really like. Read books for three hours. Ate out. Felt a lot of appreciation from Journey people. Had over a dozen friends drive across town to support me.

There is some stuff that did happen today which disappoints me. But despite my disappointment, I recognize that it's a good thing.

The possibilities for tomorrow are looking pretty good too.

Time for some deep breathing

Occassionally I get so busy, that even my social engagements are tightly scheduled. In order to really enjoy being with others, I have to build in time to unwind and prepare for the next thing. Lately, I've had weekends that should have been fun, but just wore me out. Which reminds that my most important relationship, spending time with and hearing from God, can actually get cheated by a life otherwise full of good things.

Tomorrow, I am going to just take a few deep breaths.

Rapture mail?

This blows my mind.

Early Morning

I got up early today.

Now, I'm kind of embarrassed to say what that means, but suffice it to say, I'm writing this a full hour before I usually go to the office. That is seldom possible.

I did "what I was supposed to" this morning: read my Bible, prayed, ate a healthy breakfast. It feels really good.

My problem is that I really want to fight against structure. Which is unfortunate. I think we all function a little better when we have structure and boundaries in our lives. I don't know how long I'll make it at this, but it was nice this morning.

More Thoughts on Gratitude

So I’m doing this gratitude experiment. It occurs to me yesterday how often I miss an opportunity to be grateful. Last night I received some of the worst service I’ve ever had at a restaurant. We sat at the Blue Star Brewery for over an hour before the waiter took our order. The entire night went that way.

Now, I could have taken the opportunity to be grateful. After all, I had an opportunity to sit on porch on a nice summer night, catching up with good friends. There was no rush, decent music, and even misters to keep the heat in check. Instead, I automatically chose to complain about how long it took to get a refill on my chips and salsa.

I should be more grateful.

Gratitude

I'm doing an experiment.

I heard a news story about a study that shows that people who spend time daily reflecting on what they are grateful for are more happy. It's nothing more than "counting our blessings" and something we Christians

Here's what I'm doing: Five minutes, every night before I go to bed, I'm spending a few minutes journaling on a few things I'm grateful for. Trying to be specific as possible "health" is okay, but "my friend who gave me five dollars" is better.

I'll keep you updated.

Who's ready for Pork and Beans?

This one goes out to the roommate Trevor (no. 3).

I'm more thrilled than I can say to see River Cuomo and his boys in Weezer back at it again. It seems that they are just as fresh, creative and relevant as they were when we discovered them in their tribute Buddy Holly and Happy Days.

Their new video, Pork and Beans, has them again paying tribute to "classic" entertainers. However, their latest forces the question what is a classic? The video is an homage to every viral video, going back to the days before YouTube, when "All Your Base Belong to Us" and "My Spoon is Too Big" traveled by that ancient form of social networking "All Your Base."

Buddy Holly and Happy Days represented an iconic American experience. Weezer, by tying themselves to this tradition, elicited a sense of kinship.

But can an homage to an emerging form of media have the same affect?

What do you point to?

I'm wrestling through the famous passage in Matthew 5:13-16 about salt and light for a sermon I'm preaching at Journey Fellowship on June 15. The key to me seems to be verse 16:

In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

It makes me ask the question: Who am I pointing to? When people see my life, does that turn them to the Father?

Squidoo?

I started playing with Seth Godin's website www.squidoo.com today. It's an innovative way to raise money for yourself or charity.

So, because you love me and you want to see me line my pockets (while supporting charities, of course) surf on over to the "I Wish I Were Cultured" page on Squidoo: www.squidoo.com/cultured . All I need from you is one click!

While you are at it, make a page, and tell me what you think. If you send me your page link, I'll post it here on the blog for my adoring public to see.

You Can't Go Home Again...

I remember watching Last Crusade in the theater when I was 7. Indiana Jones was more that a movie, it was a vision of a life of adventure. I imagined climbing through pyramids, having cool hats, learning how to use a whip. My dreamgirl would someday kiss my bruises.

The fourth installment of the Lucas/Spielberg trilogy is an homage to an homage. Back when George and Steven were dreaming up Raiders, the idea was to create an homage to the Saturday morning cliffhangers of the 30s, complete with supernatural plots and nazis. Crystal Skull attempts to pay homage to the fears and fantasies of the 50s, however it ends up really just paying homage to it's predecessors.

The best of the Indy movies, Raiders and Last Crusade, tapped into two narratives deeply implanted in the the American psyche, our faith in God, and the struggle of World War II.

Crystal Skull tries to deal with the politics and pop culture of the 50s, namely aliens and communists. This plot, takes attention off of the possible emotional pulls of the storyline: McCarthyism, aging, lost love, and fatherhood. These feelings are brushed over for increasingly ridiculous CGI action sequences that seemed more at home in Lucas last three failures.

In this movie Harrison Ford and Karen Allen are just old, broken relationships are too easily mended, 20 years of absentee fathering is immediately forgiven, and the aliens just get in the way. It was fun, but it's not the same as it was growing up. You just can't go home again.

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Don't get your HOPES up

The nomination of Barack Obama is practically a reality now.

I've done my best to remain immune to the fascination it seems that everyone under 30 has with the man. He is doubtlessly a great orator, and has a phenomenal message, that despite the world we live in, we can have HOPE.

I've been doing a lot of reading lately that tries to explain Jesus and early Christianity within the social realm of the Roman Empire. The message of the Empire was HOPE. In Caesar, there is peace and prosperity. They even had a saying that went roughly like this "There is no other name on Heaven or Earth by which we are saved but Caesar."

Early Christians, in their attempt to show their neighbors the truth of the Kingdom of Jesus Christ, stole the saying away from the Empire, and made it their own.

In that vein, I want to encourage my readers, especially my peers who find themselves entranced by a politician, that hope cannot be found in Obama. I believe Obama would make a fascinating president. However, Obama will not solve AIDS, reverse NAFTA, stop outsourcing, eliminate bureaucracy, heal your broken heart, give you your daddy back or save you from your sins.

Does that mean I have no HOPE? Does that mean I don't think we can change.

In the spirit of the early Christians, I would say:

With Jesus, YES WE CAN!

Journey Blogs and Podcasts

Our teaching team here at Journey Fellowship is doing an all live series this summer. You can participate by visiting our blog at journeyfellowshipsa.blogspot.com. You can download the podcast there or on iTunes.

The sermon I preached during advent can be found under "Directions, Part 0."

Read, download, comment, participate!

What do you do?

What do you do when you get what you want, but it scares you?

Do you back off, returning to the cave that it took so much energy to climb out of? Do you ignore the feelings it stirs in an attempt to show how you've changed? Do you pretend like you're not bothered at all, assuming you are really ready?

What do you do when getting what you want makes you sad?

No Posts this Week

Sorry guys. A few things you missed:

-Some personal news (ask me personally if you want to know!)
-Family struggles
-Night In Old San Antonio (or beer and meat-on-a-stick night)
-A very small and disappointing crowd at Sam's Burger Joint, my Monday night swing dancing hangout.
-Read some comic books
-Struggled to come to peace with some issues
-Construction nearly complete at Journey!
-My first Wednesday to not hang out with Journey youth (neither a good or bad thing)
-Visited an old school Baptist church
-This American Life Simulcast party in Austin, complete with dinner at Magnolia Cafe!
-Flashes of depression
-First Friday Artwalk
-Handing out food at Christian Hope Resource Center
-Floating down the Guadalupe River with new friends
-"low and slow" barbecue with my Community Group and one of our elders.

It's been a little busier than usual. I have been dreadfully introspective, but I've kept it private. I use a little handwritten journal to complain about the same things over and over again, and try not to publish it for the world to see.

All for now.

Energy

I've been spending a lot of time writing this week. Semi-memoiresque/theological meandering creative stuff. Basically extended versions of my blog entries.

And I am LOVING it!

What I forget is that one of the most important things to keep me going is regular creative exercise. Just making stuff, whether it's silly doodles, or writing curriculum or making little movies on my computer, gives me the energy to keep going.

I've been writing for about an hour a day, and I'm really liking it.

What gives you the energy to keep going?

Oh, for the days of snail mail.

One of my favorite leadership stories is about how Abraham Lincoln would sometimes write a letter detailing his anger and complaints with his generals. He then would put it in a desk drawer and wait overnight to decide whether or not he really needed to say those things.

The problem is, with email, the damage is already in someones inbox before you have time to think about what you've done.

Good Leadership

This weekend, we had a staff/elders retreat, and I witnessed some of this good leadership. So much about leadership is timing. Knowing when to say the right things, and saying it in a way that unites rather than divides.

Sometimes a good leader doesn't say or do anything groundbreaking, he just knows when the ground has swollen or whether or not the horse is thirsty enough to lead to water.

One thing I have to learn is the patience and the discernment to say the right thing at the right time.

Jack outside of the Box

I'm still reeling from my trip to New York. Manhattan is overwhelming, seeing family is good, the shows were fun, Q was a ton of great information, but none of those things were the most important part.

Over the last month, I've allowed myself to get stuck in a box. I've given this box names like "the suburbs of San Antonio" or "being single." I whined about how it's crushing my spirit. I've complained that there's no hope for me here, and I'm not sure where.

Being in New York reminded me that there is a bigger world out there. It reminded me there are other people like me: young, passionate Christ-followers, trying to figure out how to make a difference in their generation. There are single people serving God. There are people who want to plant urban, not just suburban, churches. There are people striving to find the balance between the gospel of individual atonement and societal justice and reconciliation. There are people who want to share the gospel and build community in the creative, artistic, urban centers of the world.

There are people doing this all around the U.S. and the world. There are people doing this in politics, art, business and the church. They are black, white, asian and hispanic. They are rich and poor. They work for startups and multinational corporations. They are married and live in the suburbs. They have no kids and live in the city. Some of them are even cute girls.

And knowing that you're out there is like popping out of the box. I can see all around. Knowing you're there makes the world look better, and the box not seem so bad.

Back from Q

Well, I'm back from my week in New York. In that time I:

Saw the new Musical "In The Heights":



Ate a lot of Korean food:


Heard some amazing speakers:


Met a TON of great people.

Saw my childhood hero, Captain Jean-luc Picard, play Macbeth.


And, I got to hang out with my sister.

Q Day 1

Highpoints:

• Hearing the foremost geneticist Dr. Francis Collins give a remarkably accessable talk about how one can be a scientist and have faith.
• Meeting Andy Crouch, and talking to him about making films.
• Seeing ATL people (it's just a different speed of life there)
• Meeting Jon Tyson, a foreinger planting churches in NY
• Talking to Ken Coleman of Catalyst about leadership.
• Hearing brilliant, eloquent, yet straightforward words about missional living from Dr. Tim Keller.
• Getting to know the other volunteers.

Lowpoints:

• Only sleeping for about 2.5 hours prior

Q Conference

Tomorrow Morning, I'm off to New York, where I'll be volunteering at the Q conference. I'm looking forward to being back in the Big Apple, to seeing what my sister is up to in the Bronx, and taking in a TON of information.

I was able to attend Q last year, and still find myself talking about the cutting edge ideas on bringing the Kingdom of God to our world.

Q consists of a about 20 speakers, including authors like Chuck Colson and Jim Wallis, Geneticist Francis Collins, Passion founder Louie Giglio, the Band Members of The Fray, Jamie Tworkowski of To Write Love on Her Arms, Pastor and Church Planting Leader Tim Keller, and more.

I'll keep you updated.

New York!

I can't even tell you how excited I am to go to this conference next week.

I am 26 years old. I have a good life.

Today I am 26 years old.

I live in San Antonio, Texas, a place I would have never imagined myself being in for most of those 26 years. I work for a large church, and I occasionally get the chance to interact with people who are “big names.” My boss is nice enough to change up my job description so that it takes advantage of what I am wired to do.

I am able to pay my bills and set aside some money in savings. I have two great roommates who I can have meaningful conversations with, pray with, and who like to watch good movies. I am a part of a small group that doesn't just meet for Bible study, but spends their free time together.

I get to read good books and listen to interesting podcasts. In a few weeks I’ll be taking classes again, and possibly have it all paid for! When I’ve got free time, I can read comic books. There’s a nice little venue that has live music and swing dancing every Monday.

My family supports me, even when I do things they don’t agree with. Some of my friends call me everyday when they know I am going through a hard time. I have the opportunity to go to therapy and work through my issues. There are people all over the country whom I can’t even keep in touch with that care about me.

There are some things that I’m not so crazy about. I miss living in a city. I miss living near the mountains. There are people who I miss so much that thinking about them creates a pain for which I have no name. I often feel lonely and frustrated. I hate the debt I have and how it has affected my life. There is an ever present nagging to jump up, leave all this, and go see the world. Then there are the issues that continue to affect my life no matter how hard I try, not matter how much I pray, don’t seem to go away.

Yet, I cannot forget:

I have a loving God. He has rescued me from the storms of this world. He has set me to work in his Kingdom. He has big plans for us.

And that is all that matters.

Some of the Best Cupcakes Ever

To celebrate the fact that I'll be 26 years old tomorrow, some of the High School students I work with made me cupcakes and signed a pretty nice card. Now, I'm not a huge sweets fan, but these were some pretty amazing cupcakes.

I'm approaching my one year anniversary at Journey, and sometimes can get pretty down on myself for what I have and haven't accomplished. I haven't given the High Schoolers the time they really need and deserve. I'm not one of those guys that eat, sleep and breathe youth ministry. But I have done the best I can to teach them things they need to know about following Christ.

So, tonight, as I crash from this sugar high, I'm going to look at that card, and have faith that God will multiply my feeble efforts, and will raise up great men and women of the Kingdom.

Communion

In my church heritage, we practice Communion every Sunday. I've taken communion weekly for 11.5 years, but the way we do it at Journey is my favorite. Today at Journey we asked the question "Why do we celebrate communion weekly around tables?"

For those of you who haven't been there, tables feature centrally at Journey. Every week we spend about 10-15 minutes singing, praying, and eating this small meal together. It's central to our life together.

For me, I find the mystery of communion more and more fascinating. Now, I don't necessarily believe in a literal consubstantiation, but in a very real way, I see communion as The Body and Blood of Christ. I find it increasing meaningful that the tension between two definitions of the same thing is where true faith lies. Jesus was fully man and fully God. The Bible is written by God, and written by men. Baptism is nothing but water, but it is also the essence of our salvation.

I don't understand these things, but for me, they are where faith happens.

What about you? What do you find meaningful about communion?

On Sensitivity

I've recently dealt with a situation that was pretty rough for me. Now, usually I have a pretty thick skin, and don't think too much about the things people say to me. However, because of my situation, I've been hyper-aware of the things people say to me. It's made me rethink what it means to be sensitive.

For instance, when explaining the situation to a scientist friend, he repeatedly said "I can't believe you did that." He couldn't. It didn't add up.

Mainly, I receive a lot of jokes due to the fact that I am the one single person on staff at a suburban family-oriented church. Often, I'm quick witted and I head people off at the pass. However, little jokes about "Chris is the single guy," or even a well meaning "why don't you date her, she's pretty," sting right now in a way they wouldn't normally.

I don't think too often about the weight of my words, especially those I say in jest. I find myself hurting a little inside, and often playing it off. It makes me wonder how often I hurt other people with my words. It makes me wonder how many of the jokes I hear aren't jokes.

How many jokes are the thing we hide behind when we're crying inside?

Rethink?

I feel that it is wise to Rethink your life and how you look at the world every once and awhile. I'm not saying change everything, just rethink it.

Here are some things I need to Rethink:

• Do the things that take up the most of my time mean the most to me?
• Are the things that take up most of my money worth it?
• Having freed up some money in my budget, where should it go?
• How quickly do I want to finish graduate school? Is it worth it?
• Is there a better way to read my Bible?
• What things fill my life that are keeping me from growing spiritually?
• Am I taking advantage of the resources at hand?
• What am I putting off that needs to be taken care of?
• Who do I need to be reconciled with?
• Am I confessing my sins?
• Am I trying to be myself or someone else?
• How can I better use the resources I have right now to help the poor?
• What situation will bear the next Bin Laden? How can you preemptively remedy the situation?
• Should I listen to more Christian music?
• As both a Christian and a church employee, how do I build a meaningful life away from work?
• What is keeping me from traveling the world?
• Am I making progress toward Kingdom goals?
• Do I read the Bible in the way it was intended to read?
• How much longer should I be in counseling?
• What can I learn from the recent choices I've made?
• Where is the line between analyzing a situation and being too hard on yourself?
• What do I really need?
• When am I happiest?
• How do I experience God's presence?
• What makes me mad? Is that reasonable?
• What will I do differently next time? How can I work toward it now?

What about you? What are some things you need to rethink?