My Big News!

On Sunday, we announced that at the end of January, my time at Journey Fellowship will be ending. Over the last two years, I have been incredibly blessed to serve with an incredible team, and watch God grow a church.

I could go on and on about the huge things that have gone on in my time at JF. Good times with the high schoolers, two Church Has Left the Building events and the Sunday Night gathering, just to name a few. We tried a lot of new things. Some worked better than others. But I truly believe, that in it all, God was glorified.

Of all the big things over the last two year, the most important is what God has done in me. When I came to Journey, I was broken down and depressed. I was surrounded by people who believed in me, supported me, and comforted me. At the same time, I was humbled by successes that were beyond my power, and failures that resulted from my pride. My time at Journey has rebuilt me, shown me what I'm good at, and prepared me for what God has next.

Many of you are probably wondering what's next. Well, so am I. Stay tuned.

What Are You Good At?

It's a question I've been getting a lot lately, and I've been surprised that it's often hard to come up with an answer. Knowing the answer is an essential step to knowing who you are, and who you are not. Which is a key toward pretty much everything else, such as finding the right job, right spouse, growing as an individual. Not to mention, it just makes you feel good, when you know you do things well.


The things we are good at come so naturally that we don't think about them. Little do we know, others are watching over our shoulders, thinking "how does he do it?!" To be good at something means:

• You've done it a lot.
• You enjoy doing it so much, you are willing to work at it.
• Others recognize that you do it well.

The last part is the key. Something you like to do, but others do not recognize that you do it well, is more likely a hobby.

Here's some questions I've reflected on to figure out what I'm good at:

1. What did you naturally do when you were a kid?
2. When you have free time, what is it that you want to do?
3. What tasks at work or among your friends always get delegated to you?
4. What have been your biggest successes?
5. What do other people say you are good at?

My answers include: Writing, making new friends, teaching, singing, and various creative endeavors. What are you good at?

Hello Wordpress!

You can now find a new and improved version of my blog at chrismorton.info! The main change you will see is a new focus. Every week, you'll find posts on these four topics: God, Life, Church and Culture.

There are also new features:

• Fund layout powered by Wordpress.
• Twitter bar.
  
• More about me, including a bio and my resume.
• Examples of some work I've graphic and video work I've done.
• Booking and contact information.

Check it out at chrismorton.info!

Time + Talent = Treasure

If someone were to look at my life, here's what they'd see me spend my time on in the average week:

• 56 hours sleeping
• 30-35 hours a week in the office
• 10-15 hours listening to podcasts/audiobooks
• 7-10 hours surfing the internet/social networking sites
• 7-10 hours of prayer/bible
• 6-10 hours with friends.
• 5-10 hours non-office related work
• 5-8 hours watching TV/Movies
• 7-12 hours eating
  
• 4-8 hours exercizing
• 5 hours reading
• 3-5 hours networking relationships
  
• 3-5 hours with my small group
  
• 2-5 hours writing
  
• 2-4 hours reading blogs

I can't say I'm happy with the results of this little exercise. Where is your treasure?

Dr. Horrible's Got a Point

In Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog he explains his desire to rule the world. Penny, the girl of his dreams, approaches him about helping the homeless. He explains that helping homeless is great, but homelessness is only a symptom of the disease. He says the fish rots from the head, and humanity needs to be completely rearranged.

Now, while I don't have a deep yearning to takeover the world, I do understand the struggle between treating the symptom and treating the disease. Symptoms are easy to identify and complain about. Often, they are also easy to cover over and ignore. However, this only allows the disease to go unchecked. Symptoms must be addressed, but the disease has to be treated.

What are the diseases in your world? Some of mine are chronic disorganization and failed relationships. Now, in order to treat the symptom I need to buy a planner and sign up for some on-line dating service. Symptoms cause a lot of pain, so you shouldn't pretend to ignore them.

But the true problems- a life time of bad habits and procrastination, lack of teaching in basic organization, struggles to maintain basic friendships, ignorance on how to interact with the opposite sex, not really knowing one's self- those are the source of the disease. Overcoming deep personal problems takes a commitment to the slow, prodding process of change. It takes the humility to seek out help, and to submit to guidance. But in the end, you'll be free of the symptoms, and the disease behind them.

What Goals Have You Set?

It's that time of year. By the time this post comes out, you have probably already taken a stab at your New Years resolution. Hopefully you're succeeding at them.

What are your goals for 2009, and how do you plan to accomplish them? How did you arrive at your goals? For an example of some goals, check out my roommate Trevor's big ideas for 2009. I've been doing a lot of goal setting work recently. Personally, I use Dan Miller's breakdown of 7 areas of life:

1. Spiritual
2. Career
3. Financial
4. Social
5. Family
6. Physical
7. Personal Development

Using these seven areas, I set four benchmarks: immediately, three years, five years, and ten years. I like this because it allows me to think long term, dream big, but also think about immediate steps.

Dave Ferguson of Community Christian Church posted an interesting goal setting exercise here. Tim Ferriss, author of The Four Hour Work Week, doesn't think that setting goals is risky or concrete enough, and he recommends what he calls dreamlining.

What are some of your goals for 2009?

So This Was Christmas.

Without much fanfare, Christmas 2008 has come and past.

This year I happily listened to Christmas Carols. Did not give or receive much in the way of materials. Read the first few chapters of Luke. Spent a lot of time alone. Did some reading. Did some writing. Was taken in by two families from Church. Watched a few movies. Feel rested and blessed.

The simplicity of this Christmas gives me hope for future Christmases. I have hope that Christmas can be simple. It can just be about food, family and friends. I have hope that movements like the Advent Conspiracy will help Churches focus on the needy during Christmas. I have hope that wherever I am, and whatever my circumstances, God will surround me with people that will help me get through. I have hope that someday, I will do the same for others.

50 Things I'm Thankful For

1. The new Malcolm Gladwell book. Listening to it on my Thanksgiving drive is possibly going to be the highlight of my day.
2. Running. I hate it. But it's good.
3. Journaling. It forces me to think.
4. Movies. I really like movies.
5. My friend Rachel. She let's me talk a lot, and acts interested.
6. My health. Don't you have to say that on a list like this?
7. The values I picked up from my family. Things like: Loving Jesus, the Church and books.
8. My boss Steve. He's really gone to bat for me.
9. My roommates.
10. The Elders at Journey. We eat together a lot.
11. Don McLaughlin. Amazing mentor back in Atlanta who poured a ton into me.
12. Other pre-San Antonio mentors, like Marvin Crowson, Gailyn Van Rheenan, Barry Alexander, Glenn Robb and Lee Cole.
13. This American Life. Ira Glass is a high point every week.
14. Podcasts. Seriously, I don't remember life before them.
15. Twitter. I like following you people!
16. Traditional and non-Traditional theories of Atonement. It's just great to think about everything God's done for us.
17. A new friend who's given me some much needed hope.
18. Counseling. I am a better person today because of it.
19. Journey Fellowship. It's more than a job or a church for me. It's a home.
20. The dozens of writers of the Bible. Their humanity makes it seem real.
21. The Democratic process.
22. Fall weather.
23. Electricity.
24. My friend Daniel. The guy can talk a lot, but he still knows how to listen.
25. James Holston. Better friend now than when we lived in the same city.
26. Comic Books. Mainly Batman.
27. The Dark Knight movie. Amazing.
28. The swing towards social justice in the church.
29. Bad things that have happened to me in the past. I'm better off now.
30. The growing nation-wide interest in church planting.
31. Refrigerators. I'd make a terrible hunter.
32. Indoor plumbing.
33. Cell phones. I plan to make good use of mine during my two 3 hour drives today.
34. Blogs. Though they are dying off, they made me take my writing public.
35. My Community Group. They have been the people I fall back on, every week.
36. Abraham Lincoln.
37. Our big L-shaped couch. It's what makes our living room.
38. Falling gas prices.
39. My Uncle's desire to have, and fund, a big family Thanksgiving.
40. Being born in America. It's makes me one of the richest people in the world.
41. My Church of Christ heritage. Yeah, there's baggage, but I can harmonize like nobody's business.
42. Scented candles. Because a house full of dudes can smell.
43. The deer that live all around our apartment. They make this place seem wild.
44. Jared Eckman. He fixed my car for free.
45. Kevin Nations. He makes cool movies, and will hopefully make more!
46. The guys in Witness and Castle Rock. They were the first real friends I ever had. Wish I was with you today!
47. Being single. Yeah, it sucks most the time. But can you imagine me dragging a wife through the crap I've gone through the last 5 years?
48. Wycliffe, Luther, Calvin, Arminius, Wesley, Campbell, John Paul, and the other great leaders that have paved the road for the church to be what it is today.
49. YOU!
50. Thanksgiving Day.

Trust gets easier

Recently, I have found the reality of trusting in God to be much more palpable. What's different:

• I've been here before. Difficulties, unanswered questions, etc. Somehow I'm still alive.
• I am asking for help. When you don't try to do it on your own, and you lean in to the church, let it do what it's supposed to do, God's body will take care of you.
• Today's difficulties are the answers to yesterday's questions. As hard as the moment may be, I'm ready for some answers.

It's a good feeling, trusting God.

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." Jeremiah 29:11

Journaling

At the beginning of September, I made a commitment to journal everyday for the rest of the year. It's probably hurt my blogging, but it's been a good experience.

Do you keep a journal, if so, what do you write about?

Too much like Ted

My roommate Trevor introduced me to the sitcom How I Met Your Mother last week. I watched the entire first season in three sittings. I like the show for a lot of reasons, like the fast paced humor, the lack of respect chronology, and the ridiculous character Barney. It's very similar to Scrubs in its portrayal of young, urban 20somethings, only more accessible (since I'm not a doctor.)

But the reason I get so drawn into this show is how much I identify with the main character Ted. Here are a few things I can relate to:

1. He falls too fast. The whole first season is about his relationship with Robin, which he screwed up by telling her he loved her on their first date.


2. His tendency to overthink things keeps him from acting.


3. His relationships with his closest friends are sometimes peers, and sometimes surrogate parents.


4. He has an amazing two month relationship with Victoria the Cupcake Girl, who leaves him for Europe.


5. His walls are covered with posters of ska bands and he almost dumped a girl who didn't like Star Wars.


6. Ted is looking to settle down, but can't seem to find any girls who want to.


7. Ted knows exactly what he wants (likes Otis Redding, plays bass guitar, loves dogs), and judges everyone he sees on that.

Yeah...feel a little too much like Ted.

Some Questions

• Considering floating down the river on Monday...interested?
• If someone pointed out my flaws the way I want to point out their's, what would they say?
• Do I have the courage to try something different?
• What's it going to be like kayaking down the Rio Coco?
• Does everyone have trouble moving on, and we all just hide it?
• How do you tell if your anger is reasonable or unreasonable?
• Robert Downey, Jr. in black face?
• What does it take to become a professional movie critic?
• How many hotdog buns should I buy for the back to school bash?
• When I look back at this part of my life, what will I regret?
• What is the difference between those who make the best of their situation and those who wallow?
• If Obama looses, what will he do next?
• What should I change to make more time for reading?
• Should I buy an iPhone?
• Surely there's a good party somewhere this weekend?
• What will I have to give up to pay my debt off by the end of the year?
• Why don't I pray more?
• Why do I spend so much time online?

My reactions to "you're not being nice."

I've been overwhelmed by the reactions the Facebook version of my post "you're not being nice" has gotten. My response is as follows. First, on a personal note:

• It always blows me away that I put a lot of effort into posts about life, culture, and spirituality, and I get little or no feedback. One little post about girls and you all respond. I guess that says a lot about what's on my readers' mind.
• I am not heartbroken, upset, or desperate. I do not loose sleep because I haven't found the one. I just was sharing some thoughts that came to me after a day of waiting for a phone call. But thank you for your sympathy.

Now, in response to you, my faithful readers. Go back and read your responses, and see what they reveal about you. While there is a good amount of give and take, there are clearly some readers (some of whose responses have been deleted) who may have personal issues that make it more difficult to have meaningful relationships.

Let me share a few of my humble opinions on life. I'm not there yet, but here's some things that have helped me along the way.

1. You can't fix someone else, but you can work on yourself. The way I have handled this is surrounding myself with Christian mentors. I've also been in counseling for over 2 years, and it's one of the best decisions I ever made. Do whatever you can to surround yourself with people who have a broader vision, and will help you through life.
2. If you're a girl who doesn't give your number out, or doesn't return phone calls when you do, that's fine- just don't complain when you don't get asked out.
3. If you're a guy who's mad that he can't get a date- you are not trying. I know better than anyone that San Antonio is a terrible place to be a single 20something, I can STILL name half a dozen pretty girls in any age bracket waiting to be asked out. It's a numbers game. Just keep looking and asking.
4. Guys: Be prepared to be rejected. Regroup. Try again. Don't stop.
5. Girls: Take note from Hil, and be honest. I would have boundless respect for any girl who said "you've made my day, but i can't go out with you."

Finally: Trust God AND take initiative. Yeah, God will feed the sparrows, but he doesn't show up at their nest with a spoon and a can of Gerbers. It doesn't mean he's up in heaven playing relational chess with you and your future spouse. God is not your slave. You work for him, not vice versa. So go to work.

Go out. Flirt. Get phone numbers. Give phone numbers. Have a good time. And do it all in a way that will make God and your future spouse proud.

My Schedule for the Week

Monday: Counseling, Office Time: Goals" discussion, Work out, Swing Dancing, Meet with team about possible Art Show at JF
Tuesday: Office Time, Sleep as long as I can, staff meeting, journal, read more of "True North" and "Simply Christian"
Wednesday: Office Time, Work out, Visit another church, perhaps Tree of Life in New Braunfels
Thursday: Office Time, Community Group (Gluten Free Pizza Night!)
Friday: Try to stay out of the office, Maybe use my free movie ticket to see Dark Knight again, work out
Saturday: Feed Homeless with Bread of Life ministries

Not scheduled: Lunch meeting about Northeast San Antonio Needs Assessment, Prayer walk at Northeast Lakeview College, call home, call Kyle, go running with a personal trainer, get a new drivers license

Not scheduled but likely: watch a few hours of some new show with Trevor, write in Journal
Not scheduled, not likely, but hopefully: Buy a girl coffee, buy a new hat

I own it.

Warning: I will use the c%#p word 8 times in this post. Warn your children not to read this.

It was about a year and a half ago that I started throwing around the axiom "own your crap." Recently, I've been reminded of how important this is.

The fact is, we've all got crap. I have got the feeling I have more than most, but less than some. It tells people where to go, what to do. It convinces them to make the same disasterous decisions, again and again. It holds them back from taking chances. It forces them to stay in bad relationships, and sabotage good ones. Most people are owned by their crap.

Owning your crap is the difference between those who are self aware, spiritually mature, relationally mature, self confident, graceful, faithful, humble and gentle from the rest of us. Knowing what your crap is, where it comes from, how it affects you, and how to counteract it is what allows them to sleep at night.

Owning your crap is not the same as having resolved your issues and having gotten rid of your baggage. But it is a step that gives incredible freedom.

I did something the other day that I am pretty sure was a bad idea. I chose to do it, knowing it was probably a bad idea, but also because it's my crap. I gave myself the permission to feel a certain way, say certain things and prepare for the consequences, because my crap isn't going to go away. But I can own it.

Goodbye and Happy Birthday

Thursday night we celebrated my roommate Trevor's 30th birthday and my roommate William's last night in San Antonio. We ate Trevor's traditional birthday meal, had an abbreviated Bible study, ate cake, and opened presents.

The night was full or what this little community is known for: relaxed evenings full of stories of and goofy jokes. Trevor retold the one about the buffet, while William put fake teeth in his mouth and talked like a hillbilly. There were new friends and old, and too many laughs to get nostaligic.

I can't really speak for Trevor, and I can't really imagine what it feels like to hit 30. Probably just another big day that, when it comes, you struggle to find what it is you're really supposed to "feel." So Trevor, here's to another 30.

On Friday we'll pack William up and send him off. I'm really happy for the guy. It's clear he left his heart in Midland. Although he's been a great friend to us, and meant a lot to our church, it's been a tough year for him.

It's not just his portion of the rent I will miss. I'll miss the trips downtown to cool new restaurants, and retelling the same stories about cake and other things. I'll miss his advice, which has helped me more than he knows. More than anything, I'll miss the sounding board he's been; helping me process the difficulties of ministry, a break up, and finding my own place in this city.

Thanks guys.

You're not being nice.

This post is dedicated to the three girls I met this summer, who gave me their phone numbers, and never answered when I called. Now, I realize this is an age old problem that I will not solve in a blogpost. Changing social behavior will take something on the level of sharia law- a power I have yet to obtain. Sometimes you just gotta vent.

Believe it or not ladies, you are not being nice. If a guy is flirting with you, and you're not interested, don't make him think otherwise. Don't give him your number if you're not planning on returning his call.

I realize that these things happen because you are trying to be nice. A lot of problems happen when we try to be nice. But a lot of what is called "being nice" is actually passive agressivity, a way of getting the upper hand.

Here's what you don't understand: it takes the average guy a lot of courage to approach a girl, and even more to try to get her number or ask her out. That courage doesn't come in endless supply. The next girl he meets, he'll drawing from a more shallow well. It gets harder and harder.

I'll always remember listening in on speaker phone to a friend in college as he asked a girl to join him for a cookout on a Sunday. Being a good Christian girl, her response was, "But Sunday's the Lord's Day!"

Now, honestly ladies, I know that when you give us your number (even when you don't want to) or you make an excuse (blaming it on God instead of saying "I won't go out with you) you think you are helping. But the fact is you are just making it harder. On everybody.

ADDENDUM
Since this post was originally written, the number has dropped from 3 to 2. The author would like to thank the young lady for doing her part to restore his faith in the opposite sex.

Don't Judge Me.

Don't judge me, but there are parts of the Bible that I just don't understand why they are there. Some, like about a third of the Torah, on the surface, are outdated and useless. Much of Ezekiel seems like an ancient Israelite's bad trip. Paul keeps saying the same thing in his letters. But these are trivial in comparison to Judges.

I just finished reading Judges, and to be completely honest with you, the book bothers me. I don't know how it fits in to my theology, or what it tells me about God. I know that parts of the Bible are prescriptive and parts are descriptive, but that doesn't explain away the bloody last few chapters of the book. Homosexual propositioning, rape, and murder leads to a civil war. Tens of thosands die in just a few days, and one of the twelve tribes is almost wiped from history.

Here's what I do understand:

Judges is not the whole story. There's an undeniable push-from the garden forward, to Jesus. And Jesus, who teaches love, revives prophetic traditions of social justice, and gives himself as a sacrifice for the world- that I get. So I take comfort in knowing that Judges is just one sad, dark chapter in the story.

What do you do with parts of the Bible you don't understand?

Partial Fast

I attempted a partial fast last week, Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego style. One week without meat. I broke the fast on Friday with a cookout and LOTS of burgers.

I have to say, I'm not really sure how to "grade" a partial fast and what to expect. It definitely was not the jarring experience that a normal fast is. I did miss my meat, especially when eating out. I tried to take advantage of those yearnings as a reminder to pray.

All in all, I'm not sure I of what, if anything, I got from the fast (or if that is even a fair question.) I guess it does serve as a solid reminder of the fact that I have a lot to learn about the spiritual disciplines.

"Devos"

There are some things that have changed about my life, and especially the way I "do church" over the last few years. But I'm blown away by how the simple, core things, remain the same.

On Friday night, I had a group of people over. We ate hamburgers, then we sat around and sang songs to God. This is the kind of thing we always did in the churches I grew up in. We called them "devos." Some of my best memories are of sitting around with my friends in someone's house, and my friends could sing, and we'd sing for what seemed like forever. Then we'd eat. Girls bring snacks, boys bring drinks.

I don't know when I stopped doing devos. Maybe we think that after high school or college we are too grown up for that kind of thing.But Friday night reminded me that true community can happen in the simplest things. Sitting around, singing songs, reading scripture, digesting what we've just feasted on, praying for one another.

How could you ever outgrow that?