Communion

In my church heritage, we practice Communion every Sunday. I've taken communion weekly for 11.5 years, but the way we do it at Journey is my favorite. Today at Journey we asked the question "Why do we celebrate communion weekly around tables?"

For those of you who haven't been there, tables feature centrally at Journey. Every week we spend about 10-15 minutes singing, praying, and eating this small meal together. It's central to our life together.

For me, I find the mystery of communion more and more fascinating. Now, I don't necessarily believe in a literal consubstantiation, but in a very real way, I see communion as The Body and Blood of Christ. I find it increasing meaningful that the tension between two definitions of the same thing is where true faith lies. Jesus was fully man and fully God. The Bible is written by God, and written by men. Baptism is nothing but water, but it is also the essence of our salvation.

I don't understand these things, but for me, they are where faith happens.

What about you? What do you find meaningful about communion?

On Sensitivity

I've recently dealt with a situation that was pretty rough for me. Now, usually I have a pretty thick skin, and don't think too much about the things people say to me. However, because of my situation, I've been hyper-aware of the things people say to me. It's made me rethink what it means to be sensitive.

For instance, when explaining the situation to a scientist friend, he repeatedly said "I can't believe you did that." He couldn't. It didn't add up.

Mainly, I receive a lot of jokes due to the fact that I am the one single person on staff at a suburban family-oriented church. Often, I'm quick witted and I head people off at the pass. However, little jokes about "Chris is the single guy," or even a well meaning "why don't you date her, she's pretty," sting right now in a way they wouldn't normally.

I don't think too often about the weight of my words, especially those I say in jest. I find myself hurting a little inside, and often playing it off. It makes me wonder how often I hurt other people with my words. It makes me wonder how many of the jokes I hear aren't jokes.

How many jokes are the thing we hide behind when we're crying inside?

Rethink?

I feel that it is wise to Rethink your life and how you look at the world every once and awhile. I'm not saying change everything, just rethink it.

Here are some things I need to Rethink:

• Do the things that take up the most of my time mean the most to me?
• Are the things that take up most of my money worth it?
• Having freed up some money in my budget, where should it go?
• How quickly do I want to finish graduate school? Is it worth it?
• Is there a better way to read my Bible?
• What things fill my life that are keeping me from growing spiritually?
• Am I taking advantage of the resources at hand?
• What am I putting off that needs to be taken care of?
• Who do I need to be reconciled with?
• Am I confessing my sins?
• Am I trying to be myself or someone else?
• How can I better use the resources I have right now to help the poor?
• What situation will bear the next Bin Laden? How can you preemptively remedy the situation?
• Should I listen to more Christian music?
• As both a Christian and a church employee, how do I build a meaningful life away from work?
• What is keeping me from traveling the world?
• Am I making progress toward Kingdom goals?
• Do I read the Bible in the way it was intended to read?
• How much longer should I be in counseling?
• What can I learn from the recent choices I've made?
• Where is the line between analyzing a situation and being too hard on yourself?
• What do I really need?
• When am I happiest?
• How do I experience God's presence?
• What makes me mad? Is that reasonable?
• What will I do differently next time? How can I work toward it now?

What about you? What are some things you need to rethink?

Oh, Spring Movies...

I'm conflicted.

Spring movies are by and large a waste of time and money. Now, in some ways this was a bit of a relief, because the summer and winter seasons had more great movies than I could find a way to see. However, I've really struggled to find much to do in San Antonio that doesn't include going to the movies.

So, it's kind of nice to have break. I've just got to find something to do. Rentals will only get you so far.

An Important Question

Does Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth work in a postmodern world?

I want to be like Alex

Tonight I had dinner with some friends and strangers. Afterwards, we sat around, chatting, discussing the two big no-nos (religion and politics, of course!), playing guitar and singing. After a few hours of this, my Afrikaner friend Alex, asked if we could spend the next few minutes singing songs of praise. This being holy week and all.

We sang four or five songs, and Alex spoke up again. He asked us to pray for the man speaking at Oak Hills Church tomorrow, that God would give him a special message for all of the holiday visitors who don't know Christ. We spent a good time praying. We sang a few more songs, and called it a night.

Alex did a good job of reminding me that a Christ like leader is the one who takes a normal situation, usually dinner with friends, and reminds us all of the presence and importance of God. As I grow as a Christ-follower and a leader, I hope I can be more more like Alex, and recast normal gatherings of friends into a time of worship.

Life as I knew it

I'm kind of getting back to what had, in late 2007, become my routine. Things like time for reading, working out, and journaling are back. I'm seeing people I haven't seen in the last few months.

The truth is, that while it's nice to feel like I'm regaining a lost element of control, it's interesting to me how little I've missed these things. It may be an inconvenience, but allowing someone into your life is much richer than keeping your schedule full.

One Thing I'm Learning

One thing I'm learning is how little I really trust God. Sure, I can point to the times he's rescued me from utter ruin, to the ways he's provided when I thought there was so way out, to the mountains of blessings I enjoy today. But, at the end of it all, I struggle to trust God.

What I'm learning is that deep down inside there are things I do not really believe. I do not really believe that I can find wholeness in God. I do not really believe he has plans for me. I do not really believe I can succeed in my goals.

In some ways, my lack of faith is a sick and twisted type of faith in itself. Despite evidence to the contrary, I continue to doubt God's goodness. And in doing so, I seem to, again and again, jump into things that are not good for me. Simply because I do not have faith that God has something better.

I know that the pain of my mistakes is God's grace. When I fail, I am not destroyed, but simply reminded, that life without him hurts a whole lot more.

A Prayer for the Holiday

This Irish prayer is attributed to Saint Patrick and often referred to as the "breastplate" of St. Patrick--words that shield.

I arise today
Through the strength of heaven;

Light of the sun,
Splendor of fire,
Swiftness of wind,

Depth of the sea,
Stability of earth,
Firmness of rock.

I arise today
Through God's strength to pilot me;
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's hand to guard me.

Afar and anear,
Alone or in a multitude.

Christ shield me today
Against wounding:

Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,

Christ on my right,
Christ on my left,

Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ in me.

I arise today
Through the mighty strength
Of the Lord of Creation.

Sympathy for the Preterists...

(Chris Morton is an Orthodox Christian, and his reflections here are not an endorsement of unorthodox beliefs.)

Do you ever just read the words of Jesus and think "seriously, what does that mean??? what am I supposed to do with that?"

Today I'm reading Mark 13, which I'm no stranger to. I get it-Jesus' condemnation of Jerusalem and his predictive prophecy of the fall of that same city that would come 40 years later. Now, I'm (more or less...) a literalist when it comes to the Bible, especially the synoptic gospels. I believe that they were written far before the fall of Jerusalem, and that they record Jesus' actual words.

I guess the struggle I felt tonight had to do with the question, "why are these words in the Bible?" Why include this prophecy at all? Sure, it may have had a powerful meaning to the original audience, but what about today?

Then there's the real rub: There's a way to read the text, that makes it sound like the second coming of Jesus was going to be literally and immediately after the fall of Jerusalem. The preterists say it was. The liberals say Jesus made a mistake.

The best explanation I've heard is that it all ties back to Daniel and the "son of man" reference in Mark 13, in a reference a prophetic day of judgment. Not to be confused with the final judgment, but more the very common OT prophet "God's comin' to getcha" judgment. And that's where I'm willing to land.

All I'm saying is, it's a hard text, I don't get it, and I can sympathize with the preterists.

High Points from my Saturday at SXSW

Every year, hundreds of bands and thousands of spectators descend on Austin, Texas for South By South West. Now, while I'm years away from being able to spend the $600 it takes to get in legitimately, there's still plenty to do at SXSW. So, in no particular order, here are some of my favorite moments from the day:

• "Dude, look at this bag!" "I think it's a purse, bro..."
• My cool new black shirt
• The speck of monster repellent on my face when I got home
• The rocked out midget
• www.myspace.com/netherfriends
  
• Hearing an old school punk band at my favorite spot in Austin, Spiderhouse
• Having my good friend Daniel around to listen to me whine about my life and lessen awkward situations
• Getting to pray for hurting people
• Singing "This Little Light of Mine" with street musicians from New Orleans. And getting tips.
  
• Knowing that I'm not the only one who is struggling through the difficulties of this season of life.

Amazing. Today was pretty much exactly what I needed.

My Deliverance.

...for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance...
Phillippians 1:19

I'm relying on you guys right now.

Check your motives

Tonight, I got some good advice after sharing a difficult situation with my friend Daniel Clark. The more I think about it, the simplicity of his advice makes me feel like I shouldn't have to ask for it.

He told me to pray to God that I would only do something if it was really FOR GOD and NOT for myself.

If it is for God, then it is the noble and right thing to do. If it for myself, it will no doubt fail.

And while this does little to balm the open wounds I am cradling even now as I write, it gives me a path by which to move forward.

Best with what you've got.

Mad props to my good good friend James Holston for his example and his visit.

James and I became friends through a Bible study we helped run at Harding. We spent about a year and a half trying to convince the complacent Bible belters to step out of their comfort zone and to view their world and future workplace as a mission field. This friendship, based on the idea that church could be better and reach lost people, continues to be a blessing to me.

I've moved on, spending time in Atlanta, Austin and now San Antonio. I've had the chance to work with world-class leaders, and get hands on experience in the type of ministry I hope to lead someday.

James took a different path. He got a really good job, and continues to slave away at it in the...interesting (?)... state of Arkansas. He's paid off his debts and saved up all his money. He spends his evenings running ministries that reach people who would never otherwise step into a church. He spends his time off flying to Hondurus and helping the poor there. Then he spends his extra money, flying into SA, just in time for a very difficult weekend.

I'm so glad for James friendship. But I am just as grateful for how he uses the blessings of his less than ideal situation to bring glory to God, and encouragement to me.

Thanks buddy.

How do you measure personal growth?

Do you ever find yourself in a situation that is remarkably similar to one you've been in before? You have a conversation, it seems, for the second time, or hundredth time, only the person you're having it with has changed? You find yourself dealing with the same struggle again and again.

What's the difference? How do you know if you've grown, changed? Where's the line between "here we go again" and "this time it's different"?

I find myself struggling in all arenas of life with this, whether it's work, school, roommates, relationships, family. There seems to be only a few struggles I have, and I repeat them again and again.

Does this mean I'm being given another chance? Or does it just mean I keep getting myself into these situations.

Something New

I generally pride myself on my ability to fly by the seat of my pants. But it's never easy. Especially when you are trying something big and different.

One day at a time.