All you can do...

All you can do is put yourself out there.

This is a reality that I am, slowly but surely, becoming comfortable with.

The first time this really messed me up was when I did a Youth Ministry internship in the summer of 2001. I spent ten weeks pouring out my soul for about 40 kids. I'd like to think there were a few of them I made a difference in. I tried to tell myself that this was a seed planting ministry. The best I could hope for was putting myself out there, offering my friendship and the opportunity to hear what I think. It was up to them to do anything with it.

Since then I've put myself out there a lot. I've started up ministries from scratch and I've pursued leadership positions. I've made friends with a few complete strangers and I've been blown off by a whole lot more. I've done the best I could to teach people what I think it looks like to do what Jesus said. I've tried to be friends with people I like and people I dislike. I've asked girls out, some that seemed to like me, and even a few that seemed out of my league.

Many of these things have been rewarded. I feel like I truly made an impact on Harding in my short time there. I know I affected the lives of a few people in Atlanta. There are also a lot of other times I put myself out there and haven't seen any measurable result. I've gotten a lot more rejections that I have victories.

Slowly, this is becoming more and more comfortable. I am beginning to find myself a lot less afraid of rejection than I am afraid of wasted opportunities. It's the person I didn't talk tell about Jesus, the new friendship I didn't pursue, the girl that got away, or the risks I didn't take that hurt.

So, I take a deep breathe and do the only thing I can do: Put myself out there.