While praying last night, it occurred to me that I have a pretty tough time trusting God. My reasons range from personal, to intellectual, to others I haven't identified yet.
Now, you'd think if anyone had a good case for trusting God, it would be me. Over the last few years, I have stared poverty and destruction in the face. Instead of being broke and homeless, I find myself in an amazing position, where I am working and training under world-class leaders. Looking back, it's unmistakable that God brought me to this place.
Intellectually, I struggle against ideas like determinism. I believe that God created us to seek him and choose him, or not. I think this is the story of scripture. So, I struggle with verses like Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." I am much more comfortable with a statement a few verse earlier in 16:4 "The LORD works out everything for his own ends..."
But my intellectual understanding of the free choice granted to men and angels does not help me on the nights when I can't sleep because I don't know what to do. So where's the mid point? How do you harmonize God's clear statements that he is in control, with so much evidence that I can screw everything up?
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1 comment:
The problem seems to be one of perception. What looks screwed up to us may look totally different from God's perspective, and vice versa.
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